Do Not Hurt My Sister
by BJXCBFOREVER
Summary: 'Perry blinked. Norm stared down at him. "What I am trying to say, Perry the Platypus, is: Do not hurt my sister. Ok?"' Human!PerryxVanessa. Request fic.


**Do Not Hurt My Sister**

**I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Dan Povenmire and Jeff 'Swampy' Marsh do. **

**I do, however, own this version of Human!Perry. **

**Requested by CoronaIgnis.**

…

Perry sat in the waiting area of Doofenshmirtz's home. He flicked through the Spanish magazine. He knew a fair amount of Spanish, so didn't have to worry about much. He checked his watch once again. How could Doofenshmirtz keep him waiting for so long? Just because he'd started late didn't mean he could keep his nemesis waiting. Perry had a schedule.

Norm sat to Perry's left. The fact that the robot man hadn't said anything was creeping Perry out. More to the point, was that he was staring at Perry. Perhaps he wasn't, though. Maybe he was just staring in Perry's direction. It was hard to tell with him. Either way, it was creeping Perry out. Perry slowly waved to him, but Norm didn't react. Perry went back to his magazine.

"Perry the Platypus."

Perry looked up, surprised that Norm had finally spoken. The secret agent stared, then realized he was supposed to respond. "…Yes?"

"You are dating Vanessa, right?" Norm asked, although he already knew the answer. Norm may be a robot, but he wasn't stupid.

"Yes." Perry answered.

"But you're Dad's nemesis."

"I'm not your father!" Heinz yelled from the other room.

"True." Perry said, trying to ignore Doofenshmirtz. "But Heinz has pretty much given me the thumbs up for dating her."

"No, I haven't!" Heinz called.

"Yes, you have!" Perry shouted back.

"But I haven't." Norm said, but he didn't say it threateningly. Just his average tone.

Perry blinked, trying to think of something to say. It wasn't exactly what he thought Norm would say. Ever since he'd first met him, Norm hadn't really spoken all that much. Even when he did speak, it was nothing really important to Perry (other then when he pointed out that he had an oil leak while Perry was controlling him). "True…" Perry repeated, dragging the word out. "But…Do you need-"

"She's my sister." Norm interrupted. "According to this," Norm pulled out a book, seemingly from no where. "Protecting her would mean I'm a good brother."

Perry took the manuscript from him and read the cover. "'How to be a Good Brother. Written for Idiots.'" He narrowed his eyes as he read the tiny line down the bottom. "'And robots created by evil scientists…'" He shrugged. _Books these days have everything! _He thought.

"You may be the good guy, Perry the Platypus," Norm continued. The robot stood, towering over Perry. "But even _good _guys make mistakes. And hurting Vanessa would be a _big one._"

Perry stared up at the robot, his eyes wide and his hands clutching the book for dear life.

"So I suggest you read this." Norm handed Perry another book.

Perry took it from him and read the cover of this one. "'How to be a Good Boyfriend. Written for Idiots.'" Spotting yet another small line at the bottom, he narrowed his eyes yet again. "'And platypuses that have been turned into humans.'" He frowned. "Seriously? Who wrote these things?"

…

Carl jogged over to Major Monogram, who was busy typing away at a computer. "Sir! I just finished another book!" He smiled, gesturing to the thick book in his hand. "This one's called: 'How to be a Good Girlfriend. Written for Idiots…And evil scientist's daughters who're dating a platypus-turned-human.'"

"Not now, Carl," Monogram snapped, not even turning to the excited teen. "I'm checking my e-mail."

…

Perry blinked. Norm stared down at him. "What I am trying to say, Perry the Platypus, is: Do not hurt my sister. Ok?"

The agent stared at him. He couldn't believe this was happening. Even Doofenshmirtz hadn't given him this kind of warning. Perry slowly raised his hand, giving Norm a thumbs up. "…'kay."

"Good." Norm said cheerfully, then sat back down. Perry stared at him, before glancing back at the book. He placed his magazine back on the magazine rack and opened 'How to be a Good Boyfriend', beginning to read it.

Both men heard a soft _ding! _Vanessa stepped out of the elevator. She looked annoyed, obviously because she had to help her father with his schemes. She paused and smiled when she saw Perry. "Perry! You're early."

Perry stood up, quickly hiding the book in his coat. Vanessa jogged over and wrapped her arms around his torso, resting her head on his chest. Perry wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on top of her head. Vanessa lifted her head and looked at Norm. "Hey, Norm."

Norm waved. "Hi, Sis." Norm looked at Perry.

Perry lowered his head and whispered, "Norm's giving me the evil eyes."

Vanessa raised an eyebrow and looked at Norm. The robot man still had the same expression on. Vanessa looked back at Perry, who had his eyes locked on Norm. Vanessa tilted her head. What on earth happened before she arrived?

…

Perry went through the blueprints in Doofenshmirtz's home. He tore some up. Doofenshmirtz sat in the corner, rope tied around his arms and torso. "Ah, come on, Perry the Platypus! That's unfair! I don't go to O.W.C.A and rip up _your _blueprints!"

Perry frowned. Vanessa was knelt down beside him. As Perry began to rip up a blueprint, Vanessa reached for a different one. The ripped-up remains of a blueprint- which Perry held in both hands- accidentally sliced across Vanessa's finger. "Ow!" She yelped. "Perry! Paper cut!"

Perry's eyes widened. "Vanessa! I'm sorry!" He stood. "Hang on, I'll get a-" He turned, but was met by Norm.

"The enemy of the boyfriend is _brother._" The robot said.

"Meep." Perry muttered, before turning and running. Norm chased him, trying to slam his fist down on him.

"Yes! Get 'im, Norm! _Get him!_" Doofenshmirtz called, cheering the robot on.

"_Dad! Norm!" _Vanessa exclaimed angrily.

Perry clutched his fedora as he ran. This whole 'relationship' thing was going to take some time…

Especially for Agent P.

…

Author's note:

As Norm doesn't really appear _that much _in the show, I wasn't entirely sure how to write about him. I hope I did a good job…

You guys recognize the line from 'Greece Lightning', right?

I just had to write that bit about Carl. Just for laughs.

**For people who're waiting for Cobwebs Tend to Begin on Halloween, I'm currently writing the next chapter. Should be up some time soon.**

Hope you guys liked this.

See ya next time. *Salutes Perry-style*


End file.
